So much has happened and I have so much to say, but I don't have the time or the energy to slowly pull it out of me. I wish I could just eject my thoughts and feelings in one quick motion and never have to think about them again.

On Friday they're having "class night" at some bar. I'm feeling sad and excited and insecure, hopeful in that inevitably pointless way. I keep reading entries from when I was in high school, and find myself envious of who I used to be. Sometimes embarrassed, but mostly envious. I want to be that girl who was so cocky and who had so much fun. There was a lightness in me, even in all my emotional extremes. Those extreme highs and lows made me feel weightless and free, like anything was possible. At 25 I feel heavy and tied down to things I can't even identify.