i figured that had gone on long enough, so i say, "do you mind if i stop by for a second?" and he starts being like, oh i'm tired, come over tomorrow. like maybe i was going for a fucking booty call. and i just found that so insulting and so arrogant. and i was right down the hall anyway, so i go to his room and he opens it looking tired but moreover, like he didn't want me there. like HE was pissed off. so i palmed him in the chest and said, "that's for IN PUBLIC" simultaneously, he closed the door and i turned to walk away.

i haven't seen him today, but when i woke up i felt glorious, and also like i wanted to apologize for physically assaulting him. i have this small feeling like this is the end of it, somehow. that this little big thing is it.and that's disappointing, because i was looking forward to carrying on for the next few weeks and then just...parting ways. i go home to my state, you go home to your country. and everyone is happy. if it ends now, next year will be awkward. i want him to be someone i can say hi to on the quad. if it ends with the semester, that's just expected, and natural.

much to my amusement, i went to the vending machine but i forgot my card, so i had to take the stairs that come out in front of his room. when i walked by i saw that he had left his keys in the door and it made me hysterical. i seriously couldn't stop laughing. so when i got back to my room i text him, "your key's in the door haha" i have no idea why i found this so amusing, but it just made me feel even better about...everything. so that's that, and i guess we'll see what happens next.