but now a new problem that i'm hoping to ignore: i miss you. your apartment seems like a good dream, far away and untouchable. like a home i had coming to me. i wish it were something i could stress or somehow focus in on, but what do i say? "i'm sorry we're never right, but i miss your fucking disgusting apartment. take me home to it." real cute, a sure winner line. but in all seriousness, take me home, i always hated wanting to jump you in the hall or the walk to our cars - that walk went down in history, i am telling you, as one of the worst realizations of my life, this will never work the way i want it to. fine, okay. i can deal. but not after last week, we're back to exasperation and you with that look in your eye, sometimes in awe and sometimes disappointed. in yourself, mostly. but it's still overwhelming sitting on your kitchen floor, you're trailing off and i'm leaning against the refridgerator like, god i thought this was over. why are we back to this if nothing will ever come out of it?