11:29 p.m. - 2007-12-18

so here's the thing. no. here are a lot of things. i'm angry. do you know that his grandmother died, and he loved her. SUPPOSEDLY. i don't know that he loves. but he says so anyhow, so she died. and she was dying, cancer. they knew it was coming. do you know why he never went to see her? because he's an adult. HE SAID ITS BECAUSE HES AN ADULT. because he has a job, and a wife oh well congratulations, you finally go to work. is your car insurance paid? did they give your license back? you're not a fucking adult. you are just cold and OBSESSED and in denial of all your fuck ups.

moving on.

i just really want my cd. okay? i just, i want my cd. i'll go to your apartment if i have to, it's just something i need. i need all my ends tied, so could you please, please have it with you tomorrow...please just have it sitting in the desk so i can leave. so i don't have to talk to you.

i don't want anyone anymore and i hate that this is all i can remember to talk about. i am living an amazing life, although i'm always missing something.

i find it emotionally taxing to keep saying goodbyes. for once i'm finding it hard to have ties. but i'm trying.

i cried the other night. it was beautiful.

Before and After