11:08 a.m. - 2008-02-07

helloooo. so, i have a really fabulous story and it's the kind of story i'd very much like to tell my mom, so please don't eat me. okay, so i attempted to have sex with quirico. however this was not my first time; i had sex with derek back in the day. sorry i didn't tell you. but anyway. so, quirico and i have had the intention of having sex several times these past three weeks. but every time something silly goes wrong. and it's comical but frustrating. so last night he and i were just making out cause adolfo was sleeping aha. and he was like, "tomorrow. seriously. he will be gone. i don't know where i'll put him, but he won't be here." so we chuckled. and also lately we get a late start on things and won't get together till like 1. but today it was like, 10:30 when i went over. and i knock on the door and adolfo answers it and i was like, NOOOOO (in my head) but he was leaving. and q was like, "he came back and i was like NOOOOO and threw him out" and i was like ahah okay. so we were like, overjoyed. it was early. adolfo was gone. i didn't have my period! which accounted for one week of my celibacy. so we're both feeling triumphant and we were having sex for like, less than 2 minutes and THE CONDOM BROKE. so we stop and we're both just like staring at it. and i wasn't particularly concerned, you know, okay so the condom broke. fucking get a new one. and he goes, "do you have a condom?" and i was like, "no. ....DO YOU?!" and he was like, "no." and we both were like just AHHHHHHHH FUCK. so we're like THIS CANT BE HAPPENING! and he's like, "we're cursed! we're cursed!" and i'm like, "FUCK!" so he's like ILL CALL ADOLFO. so he calls and from where i was sitting i could hear adolfo going HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....no....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! so we're both like having a fit and q's like, "i don't believe him!" so he goes to adolfo's side of the room and is searching every drawer and every possible spot ahah. and he was like, "....do you just want to do it?" and i was like NO. and he's like, but your period just ended and blah blah and i was like NO BABIES. so he's like arrrg fine. IM GOING TO FIND ONE so he gets dressed and went on a condom hunt ahahaha. so i'm just sitting in the room like hysterical by myself so i text elle and was like, "i sort of had some sex but then THE CONDOM FUCKING BROKE!" and she texts back HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. and i told her he went on a search for condoms and so she and i are both hysterical. and then he returned unsuccessful and we're both like arrrrrg.

oh and this is just a side thing which, no offense, but i don't really need any advice on because i'm going to do what i want anyway. q has a girlfriend in dr. and i've known this since the first time we tried to have sex, where he was all condomed up and we were about to go for it and he was like, "i can't." and i was like, "...okay. why's that?" and he told me and i was like, oh...alright. and that ended up being a really nice night. i know that sounds weird but like obvi we didn't go through with sex, but we ended up just making out for hoursss. nothing else. and i didn't leave till like 7 in the morning.

so anyway. oh the other thing is that most of the time, when i'm leaving, he kisses on the cheek and not on the lips. and it annoys the FUCK out of me. and he knows it, which is why he does it now. we discuss it frequently and he thinks its hysterical and it usually results in me slapping him. but he'll never tell me WHY he started doing that in the first place, cause that's just not normal. and he actually never answers questions. at all. and it makes me angry. and he knows it.

so tonight, pre-sex, we were making out and he goes, "you know why i'm attracted to you?" and i was like, "why?" and he was like, "...nevermind." and i'm like, "What?" and he's like, "i'll tell you later." so we fought about that for a bit.

then he got back from his failed condom run and i was like, "whelp, since we've got nothing else to talk about, why don't we get back to that conversation before?" and he's like, "which conversation?" and i was like, "why you're attracted to me." and he always thinks that by kissing me i will lose interest in whatever i'm fighting with him about which is only true sometimes after he's been uncooperative for a long amount of time. so anyway, we're sitting on the bed facing each other in a mutual straddling type manner. i don't know, it's comfortable. so we're sitting like that and fighting and he kept trying to kiss me and i lost it. i was like WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU! and he's like aha what do you mean? and i started hitting him on the shoulder and i was like YOU ARE SO SKETCHY! I HAVE NEVER MET ANYONE SKETCHIER THAN YOU! IVE MET A LOT OF DOUCHEBAGS IN MY DAY, BUT YOU ARE THE BIGGEST DOUCHEBAG and he looked genuinely offended and he was like, "i'm not a douchebag..." and i was like, "YOU ARE A DOUCHEBAG" ahaha and then, adolfo and i have a joke where we call each other douchebag as opposed to our real names. like "hey douchebag" "how are you douchebag" "douchebag i'm tired" etc. it's just what we do. so q imitates adolfo's voice and like waves his arms and goes, "i'm adolfoooo" and i was like HAHAHAHA this must be the douchebag room. and he's like, "seriously, i'm not a douchebag." and i was like, "i beg to differ." so i was just really angry and i kept hitting him and asking him what's wrong with him and he was like STOP HITTING ME! and i was like, *hit* and he's like, "if you don't fucking stop hitting me, i'm going to hit you back." and i was like, "go for it" and stuck out my face and he's like, "....shut the fuck up." and i was like, "yeah that's what i thought." and he started playing with my hair and i was like *hit* WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. and he's like NOTHING. I JUST CANT BE HONEST! and i was like WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU CANT BE HONEST?! and so he basically told me that in dr, people just don't talk about these things. and i double checked with elle & she affirmed these claims hahah. and he talked about how he always lies and i was like "well so do i, but that doesn't mean i can't be honest." and he talked about how he doesn't like to answer questions. so we're like blah blah fight over him being a sketchball. so, being the crafty wench that i am, i know how to provoke people. and he's like, "i just can't be honest." and i was like, "so you can't be honest with your girlfriend? or is that just with the girls you cheat on her with?" and his jaw DROPPED and he was like, "low fucking blow!" and i was like, "oh, you don't answer questions, nevermind." so he like jumps up, gets off the bed and starts pacing and he goes, "you have two minutes to ask me anything you want. starting at 12:27." and i was like, hurrah! and it was still 12:26 and he comes over and kissed me and was like, "you don't need to look at the clock" and i SHOVED him out of the way and it turned 12:27 and i go, "WHAT IS THE KISS ON THE CHEEK SHIT?" and from that point on, we had a completely honest conversation. and it lasted the rest of the night, the honesty. he answered every question i asked, talked about his girlfriend, talked about himself. and then he started bringing up things himself. and then he started asking me questions. it was fabulous. we just lay on the bed and cuddled and made out while asking and answering questions with obnoxious honesty.

then this is where things get a bit more comical. so we like...didn't know what to do with ourselves. although we were not aware of it. but we were condomless which meant no sex. and i think we were so disappointed that we weren't really in the mood for anything else but kissing and some mild groping. so, one of our activies to take up our time was when we decided to "see how fast we can make out" and then "see how slow we can make out" and during the slow i burst out laughing and i was like, "is this what we've been reduced to?" and he was like, "oh my god....are we really this bored?" and i was like, "i think so." OH HAHAHAHAHA we passed gum back and forth while making out. and i quote quirico: "this disgusting but entertaining"

then we were talking some more and i said something about his girlfriend and he was like, "you know, you can't really call her my girlfriend." and i was like eh? and he's like, "well she's not really my girlfriend anymore." and i was like, ....what? and we sort of looked at each other. and he was like, "say it." and i was like, "..you say it." and i was like, "you say it." and he's like, "you say it." and that went on for awhile and finally he was like, "my fiancee." and i was like, "okay." and he goes, "ahahahaha. i'm kidding. ahaha that was cool. i'm going to fuck with your mind more often." and i was like, "fucking douche." and then a few minutes later he started talking about how he has a child. which the ukrainians do all the time, but also i know enough of dominican society to know it's bullshit. so he went on and on and i was hysterical. and he had this pained expression on his face as he talked about his family and his children and he would be like, "baby, why are you laughing at me..." and i'm like aaaaaaaaaaaahahahaha. and i was like, "you are such a shitty actor." and he's like(from this point on imagine everything being said really dramatically), "courtney, i've opened my heart to you....i'm opening up like i've never done before. ...and you just...i need you to help me...help me to be someone." and this had seriously been going on for like, 10 full minutes. so when he said that, i took his face in my hands and said, "but how can i trust you quirico?" and he was like, "...what?" and i put my hand on my chest and i was like, "you just....you play all these games and you don't open up to me. you told me to my face that you wanted to fuck with my mind. i may love you, but how can i trust you again? how can i stay here?" and he took my face in his hands and was like, "never leave me." and i was like, "never, never ...but i have to.." and he's like, "you can't. i need you." and that went on forever and then he blinked a bunch of times and gets this scared look and goes, "you're not cecilia!" and i was like, "no, i'm not." and he looks around the room all panicy and goes, "but i was kissing her. we were having a conversation.." and i was like, "i know." and he's like, "what did you do with her?" and i was like, "she's gone." and he was like, "her body may be gone, but she's in my heart. and you can't change that." and i went in to kiss him and was like, "but i can try." and then we lost it and we were both hysterical and he's like, "so i'm a good actor huh?" and i was like, "you are AWFUL. seriously." and he's like I AM NO SUCH THING!

i feel like there were some other funny things but i can't think right now ahah. but yes. that was my night and it was SO silly. even he was like, "so...this was a good night." so i am now silly and light hearted and technically i have lost my born-again virgin status, which pleases me. the end. love you!

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