Should I have used a comma? Too formal? I just can�t bring myself to pray out loud, for fear that no one will hear me. I just need to ask you, why? Why has he failed this test 3 times? Why, when he knows the material, he knows what to do, he�s the top of his class, his life is depending on this one test, and yet he�s failed 3 times. Is a fourth to come? Is this what you intended? For him to be on a downward slope? He�s been out of work for over two years now. Why? Why? Why aren�t you taking care of him? His life could be so good, he has so much potential to do so many things. And yet it�s like door after door is slammed in his face, and the windows all have bars on them. It�s been so nice these past few months having him in class and working as an aide. I go to work, he goes to work. I don�t care that he�s making minimum wage and lucky if he brings home $100 at the end of the week, just as long as he�s working! It�s amazing to see him getting out of bed in the morning. You don�t know how I cherish it. I go to work, he goes to work. It�s a beautiful thing. I�d like that to be the normal way of things. I�d like that to be forever. He needs to pass. But his nerves are shot. What are the chances that three failures will equal one success? And, of course, two days before his fourth attempt, the company tells him if he doesn�t pass, he�s out. Excellent. I�m sure that helped his nerves immensely. And won�t that be nice, when he�s back to doing absolutely nothing? He feels like a failure. Can�t you give him something? What is your intention for him? What comes next? He needs your help. I can�t make him calm. I can�t make him relax. If this falls through, he has no other options. Back to applying to every job in the classifieds and never getting so much as an interview. When he was in college, why did you allow him to get into that car accident? I don�t know how things work, I don�t know if his life would have been so very different�if maybe then we wouldn�t have even met. But for his sake, what if? If he had continued his college education, who knows where he would be today. It was never his intention to live the blue collar life. He didn�t plan on being 41 and unemployed. What does he have to fall back on? He�s very good at installing fire prevention sprinkler systems, which he hates, and, there are no jobs available anyway. Wonderful. He loves music, would love to work at a music store, and he�s so knowledgeable. But music stores only want to hire goth 20-somethings. He�s 41, and he isn�t covered in piercings and tattoos. Therefore he�s not qualified. He just wanted to drive a bus. That�s all! He just wanted to drive a bus. Can�t he just drive the bus? When is something going to go right for him? He needs guidance. He needs a helping hand. And clearly, divine intervention is the only road not yet travelled. He tries to help himself, I try to help him, his family tries to help him. But you? What have you done for him lately? Where have you been? He needs to pass this test. He needs a success. He needs comfort in knowing that all is not lost. Do you know what he started worrying about this morning? Christmas. He�s worried about failing the test, because then he�ll be out of a job, and Christmas is only a few months away. How can he possibly not let his nerves get the best of him if that�s how he�s thinking? Listen, we need your help. Okay? We need your help. This is me, Courtney, saying we need your help. That�s unusual for me, and I hope you understand how dire this situation is, if I�m admitting that I need your help. I just�is asking to drive the bus so very much? Is this an outrageous request? I�m not asking you to solve world hunger, or make war a distant memory. I�m asking you to help him be calm enough to pass his CDL test. I know prescriptions pills that can accomplish that. So why can�t you? I need some divine serenity to pass over him this week. Let him be the best he can be, because I know that�s good enough. I�m late for work.

Sincerely,

Courtney