5:05 p.m. - 2012-04-10

I miss you. When I dreamt of you last night, it brought back every feeling I�ve tried to repress in the past 8 years. I love you, have always loved you. I am feeling grateful, that I have no easy way to get in touch with you. I don�t think I could get through today without texting you and saying I miss you and desperately need to be with you, if it were an option. Maybe that�s why you always kept your distance. Days like today make me worry that we will never be friends. I fantasize about being friends nearly on a daily basis. I suppose it�s strange that you�re never far from my mind, one way or another. But if we were friends, really friends, and I could access you so easily�I won�t let myself think about the possibilities. The possibility of a day like today where I wake up from a dream and need you to be there. But then maybe, I try to justify, maybe if we were friends, the longing would dissipate. I wouldn�t have to ache for you, because you would not be out of reach. Maybe it only scares me to have you out of reach platonically. Maybe, maybe, maybe. But maybe not. Distance is safer. Before and After