anyhow, for me it's inconvenient because i have to go to such lengths to keep you at a distance, but manage not to severely wound your oh-so-fragile feelings, because i'd like to keep you around for the next week and a half, a bit. like i think we should have sex at least one more time, maybe twice if i feel like it.

i generally feel it's not my fault that my being selfish results in you being treated poorly. where is your self preservation? you should have that sense about you that says, "oh wait, this girl despite being very goodlooking, may not be worth all this hassle."

i really think that's part of the problem, that you find me too attractive. it gets annoying how often you talk about it. i'm pretty, i get it. it's not that big a deal. this may come as a shock to you currently, but, there are a great many women better looking than me. you should go find them, probably, as i'm sure they are kinder or at least a little bit sensitive.

and really it's shocking to me that you still have all this interest. certainly not as much as you'd have if i were trying to be likable, but still. i've been on my worst behavior. usually when i'm a jerk it's much more subtle, to you. and then i put my best foot forward, and act however you would best like me to act. but i've been appalling, really. i'm not classy or seductive or cute or fun. i'm just vulgar and sort of flakey, i bail on you more often than not.

yesterday, you told me that i'm your best friend.